


The Monster You Created

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Established Relationship, First Time, Horror, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-13
Updated: 2012-09-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 10:13:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8746219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: The very start of the end of Sam's life began with him waking up without his brother there. He was alone, frightened, only 11 but he knew what he had to do to survive, even if it costed him his innocence.Dean and Sam later cross paths, but will it ever be the same?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).

  
Author's notes: I know this is short but the chapters will be longer

R&R  


* * *

Waking up to screaming was admittently bad for Sam, but waking up to dead silence was so much worse. He had stirred that morning, mummbling his brothers name. Sam expected him to be awake, because he usually was, waiting for the younger Winchester. At the fact he got no reply Sam jolted forwards. The shower wasnt running but Dean's bags were still there.

 

Blindly, Sam reached over onto the stand, picking up his phone and dialing a one before hitting call. Dean had always been the number one speed dial...as was Sam for Dean...it was a mutual agreement, a silent one at that.

 

It rang a few times before hitting voice mail. Dean /never/ let it hit voice mail when it was Sam calling, and that was when a very anxious 11 year old dialed his dad's number. Again, there was no answer. At this point, he knew what he had to do.

 

Sam yanked on his clothes, took his cellphone and headed out. The world around him spun as he whipped his head around. There was no sign of life, anywhere, the town was barren with a thick smoke fog. Now sam's heart was thudding against his chest.

 

"DEAN?!" he shouted, hopeing for an answer, begging for one, needing one. The younger Winchester suddenly felt a million times smaller. "ANYONE! PLEA–" he was cut off by the ringing of his phone, god everything was happening so fast.

 

He fumbled to get it out of his pocket just as it was about to stop ringing and pressed it to his ear. A sigh came from the other end, obviously hopeing to hit voice mail.

 

"Sammy–I need you to listen and do everything i tell you fast alright?" The older Winchester instructed, his voice strained.

 

"Dean! Whats going on?!" The young boys voice was filled with panic and he bit back a sob. Crying was pathetic, it made him weak, he wouldnt allow himself to do it.

 

"You need to run Sam, the impala keys are in my duffle–" the line went dead and Sam clutched the phone in his hand before running into the motel room. He found the keys and Dean's wallet. The younger winchester didnt bother to check it, he just ran to the impala, got in and started the engine. There was nothing left in this town, not anymore.

 

Sam Winchester headed out of the small town, knowing he wouldnt be seeing his dad or Dean for a long time, just by his brothers voice...he knew he'd be on his own for a while.


	2. the pain wil never end

  
Author's notes: Soo, this is the first chapter  
Please please please read and review!  


* * *

~4 years later~

 

There was a lung strangling amount of cigarette smoke that clouded the air in a small pub like establishment that mixed with the stale scent of alcohol. It all filled and clouded Sam's senses. A couple of leering, hungry eyes followed the boy and they grabbed at his ass. Sam finally came across a decent looking one—he was wearing a suit and glassy eyed look as his eyes traveled up and down the young Winchester in approval. He slid in the seat across from the man, his lips quirking up in a smirk. 

 

"Like what you see?" Sam asked over the crowd, trying his best to hide the disgust from his eyes and voice. This whole thing sickened him, but he wouldnt give them the pleasure of seeing him like that, it would only get the sickos off more. 

 

"How much do you charge?" The man quirked a brow, his voice rough with lust. Sam hid his best to keep from shuddering under that gaze. "How much to fuck that pretty little mouth of yours?" He continued, his tongue tracing over his lips. Just the words alone made Sam wince and took in a sharp breath. 

 

"60" he stated, practically emotionless as he looked upon the man.

 

"You swallow?"

 

"Thats another 20 bucks"

 

The man snorted and smiled lazily at the boy, taking a hold on his arm. "Follow me out back...i want people to see, ill advertise you well you little cockslut" he growled, desire sharp in his voice. Sam was dragged out of the bar off to the side and pushed roughly onto his knees. A soft whimper came from the young boy as the man unbuttoned his slacks, letting them drop, and wipped out his cock right infront of Sam. "Open your mouth, whore!" He commanded, stroking himself until he was rock hard. The guy was huge and the second Sam wrapped his lips around the shaft it was thrusted into his mouth.

 

Tears sprung free as Sam gagged and the man curled his fingers into Sam's hair, yanking it. 

 

"So pretty like that...a big cock in your mouth and those tears" he purred, thrusting again. Sam chocked on a sob as he endured it. It was bad enough he was doing this where drunk and horney men could see, but when the sick fuck continued to talk? It drove Sam over the damn edge. 

 

Soon enough the man blew his load, pulled back from Sam, threw his money at him and strolled away. Sam gathered the bills, swallowing hard as the bitter taste remained in his mouth.

 

He slept in the back seat of the impala that night, curled in on himself as tears leaked down his cheeks. His phone went off and he clutched his knees to his chest tighter. 

 

Sam felt dirty, used and abused, more then he ever did most nights

 

~^*^~

 

"Sammy...damn it....answer the phone!" Was the short message that Dean had left Sam the previous night after calling. He might not have said much, but his cracking voice spoke volumes. It had caused Sam's heart to clench tightly within his chest as he drove on towards...by what the map and all the signs said, New York City.

 

And Sam not knowing that Dean was there, couldnt hurt him, right? Well as long as they didnt cross paths, it couldnt hurt him. But if they did? Well, you'll see.

 

Sam parked the impala a few blocks away from the bar he set his eyes on, got out and locked it up tight. He headed for the bar, knowing he was bound to score more money, he needed it. With only 80 dollars to his name in New York? He wouldnt last very long at all.

 

In no time he was sitting with an older man, working his charm best he could without wanting to puke. The man had introduced himself as Travis but claimed Sam would be calling him 'daddy' and 'master' tonight. He lifted his beer, holding it up to Sam' lips.

 

"Go on...open that puurty mouth of yous and take a drink" the man slurred slighty, leaning in and stealing a kiss from the young boy. Sam had gagged on the taste of the beer, but as soon as he swallowed it, his mind went a bit fuzy. He snickered and Travis gave him another long pull of it.

 

Not much later, Dean Winchester walked in, and his emerald eyes travled the entire bar and landed on a drunken Sam stumbling after a man in his mid-twenties. The instant he saw him, he knew. "Sammy" he breathed. Then a hard truth hit him when the man attacked his brother's lips and Sam just allowed it too.

 

Dean reacted and raced at the man, snatching Sam from his grip. "You sick asshole!" He accused. The pull, jolt, and voice sobered Sam up rather quickly. "Dont ever. Touch my brother. Again!" Dean snarled, a promise of death in his eyes. Travis ran from the scene, a string of profanities left him as he did so.

 

"Sammy?" Dean looked down at the 15 year old, eyes wide.

 

"D-Dean?" Sam stuttered in responce just before he went limp.

 

~^*^~

 

Dreams can be terrible things, they deceive the eye as to of what is real and what isnt. Dreams are just wistful thinking played out in our minds to help us 'rest easy'. But dreams to Sam Winchester always lead to no real good.

 

He sat up quickly on the bed and groaned instantly, rubbing his forhead. Stupid hangovers...stupid perverted ass men that get cheap thrills from boys like Sam..stupid Dean trying to.../Dean/!

 

Sam's eyes snapped open and wandered around the room. The walls were a mustard yellow color while the floor was a rust red. It may not have been all that appealing to look at, but it reminded Sam of the old days. Thats when he found himself thinking of last night yet again. It was merely a blurry haze in Sam's mind. He shifted in the bed and then felt a pair of arms tighten around him.

 

"Sammy...stop movin'" the older Winchester whined, pulling his brother even closer, as if it was honestly possible. He had a death grip on Sam that wouldnt break until he wanted it to.

 

"Let go! Get the fuck off me!" Sam shouted, wiggling in Dean's arms, trying to get free. Dean groaned, his eyes flickering open and meeting the dark gaze of Sam. He reluctantly let go of Sam and the younger Winchester jumped from the bed. With a slight wince from the pounding headache of course.

 

"Little hung over there, Sammy?" Dean teased, a lazy smile ghosting over his pouty lips.

 

"Dont call me that! Dont touch me!" Sam snapped, clenching his fists into tight little balls. "Who the hell do you think you are?! This is kidnapping!" He proclaimed.

 

"Im your brother, your family, and i saved you from that pedophile last night" Dean said paitently, sitting forward. He knew Sam would probably run for the door so he had to be prepared for it. A bitter laugh left the younger boy.

 

"What right do you have to call yourself family?" Sam sneered, "you may be blood but you aint family anymore, you screwed that up when you and dad ran out 4 years ago. I got no family."

 

"Sam..we were trying to pro—"

 

"Bullshit! I was 11 and you two just up and left me! I was /terrified/!" Sam shook his head, he shook away his tears as well. "I dont need you...i dont need John..i dont need anyone. I've been doing fine all on my own" 

 

"What? Whoring yourself around, Sam?" Dean finally snapped and Sam flinched at his words. They were so harsh, not to mention , Dean added 'for men'. It caused Sam to crumble and his walls built up higher then they'd ever been. Tears welleDean cd in little Sammy's eyes and Dean's cold expression dropped like that.

 

"Screw you" Sam hissed, backing up when Dean took a step forward.

 

"Sammy...I...Please" Dean uttered, reaching out for Sam who only moved away.

 

"Screw you!" He repeated, only louder this time. Years ago, he would've ran to Dean for comfort when he was upset, but it was different now.

 

The boy ran for the door, but he wasnt quick enough though, Dean caught him by the arm and spun him around. The older boy pressed the younger to the wall, daring him to fight the grip that was held on him. 

 

Dean's eyes were dark as his image began to fade. Sam thrashed against an invisible forced with bewildered eyes

 

Sam sat forwards on a queen mattress, seeing a man glaring down at him. "I said /get up/ you whore! M'wifes gonna be hom—" the man—Travis was cut off by the sound of a horn and he swore under his breath.

 

Only sheets covered Sam's lack of clothes and he winced as he was forced out of bed. He weakly recalled that the man had fucked his ass raw merely hours previous and it stung like a son of bitch. His clothes were thrown at him and he tugged them on as he was shoved into the closet. "Hey!" He tried shouting, but it was muffled by dusty clothing.

 

"Stay quiet and i'll give you 300, boy" Travis hissed, closing the door and leaving Sam in the dark.

 

Like i said, dreams can be terrible things, even more so for Sam Winchester.


	3. Chapter 3

  
Author's notes: Im so so so soooooo sorry it took me so long and this chapters a bit short, but i got a bit of block.

Read and review!  


* * *

All of two hours sam had been trapped in that damned closet. All of two hours he had to listen to this constant bickering between a couple with serious issues. All of two hours Sam had to think about his brother and draw his walls up even higher....all of two damn hours.

 

Screams sounded; bullets rang; and then there was silence. Sam burried himself tightly in a corner of the all to small closet and footsteps fell heavy upon the floor, or at least thats how Sam heard it. His heart hammered like a drum in his chest and he placed a hand over his mouth. It was happening...he finally got himself in far to deep and he was gonna die.

 

There was a creak and Sam pressed against the wall so hard his back began to ache against the pressure. A whimper unsucessfully tried to move past his lips, but he wouldn't allow. The nob twisted in what seemed like slow motion and light began to blind the younger Winchester.

 

"Samuel Winchester" a voice said as Sam full heartedly tried to rid himself of the pain from the blinding light. His name had such a formal ring to it as the man spoke it, and Sam hated it. The man noticed his distaste in his expression and blinked. Lids covered blue orbs for a moment. "Do you prefer Sam?"

 

"I prefer to know who the fuck you are and how you know me" he spat, twisting out of reach when the man tried to touch him. 

 

"Could you please refrain from such voulgar language?" A sigh left slightly parted lips. Slowly vision returned to Sam and he nearly jumped out of his skin as he saw a /bullet/ hole in the man's arm. The younger winchester reached for his holy water and splashed it in the man's face. 

 

"Cristo!" He shouted, expecting the other to be hissing and withering. But no, there he stood, looking a bit annoyed as he wipped away excess water. 

 

"Sam, I assure you, I am not a demon" he said with a frown as he fixed his tan, leather trench coat. "I am an angel of the lord, here to free you from your harlot ways" he announced proudly.

 

"Angels," Sam grit out bitterly, "angels dont exist you whack job"

 

"We do too...I am the angel of Thursday, Castiel...and this" he motioned to himself, or rather the person he was wearing. "Is my vessel, Jimmy No—" he was cut off then by a female voice.

 

"Back away from the child, Castiel" the woman comanded softly, watching Sam press himself further into the wall. She swept her blonde hair behind her shoulders and her blue eyes were soft, warm, and caring. "Are you alright, Sam?" Her voice was equally as soft, and her smile too.

 

"Who're you people?" Sam whispered, a bit daunted by the two who stood before him. 

 

"Come with us, and we'll explain everything." She promised, offering a hand to the 15 year old. Sam took a moment before slowly taking the woman's hand.

 

~^*^~

 

"Dean!"

 

A voice shouted out, causing the older Winchester to jerk awake. He was tangled up in sheets that were a bit sweat incrusted. A sticky feeling resided at the corners of his eyes and he gasped softly. "Sammy...he" he started to whisper.

 

John Winchester stood over his son, a scowl of his lips. "He's dead Dean, you gotta stop getting your hopes up with this damn thing" he said gruffly, turning away from the boy. Dean's eyes narrowed into dangerous slits as his father spoke. Sam couldn't be dead, Dean wouldn't let himself believe it.

 

"We gotta go to New York...dad I'm so sure!" He pleaded softly, scenes of his dream clouding his mind, clouding his judgement.

 

"Damn it boy!" John barked, slamming his fist on the cheap wooden table. "Thats what you said the last few thousand times!"

 

"But I—"

 

"Save it, Dean"

 

"But Dad I—"

 

"I said save it!" John growled, not looking to his older son. "Get dressed, now, we're moving on, theres nothing here for us, I'll be in the truck" he commanded, snatching his duffle and journal up.

 

"No" 

 

"What?" 

 

There was a deathly calm stare the two shared.

 

"I. Said. No." Dean gritted out, a frown taking to his lips as he watched anger flicker over his father's expression.

 

"I'll leave your ass here" 

 

"I dont care, I'm gonna go find Sammy"

 

"SAM IS—" John stopped himself, seething at this point. "Fine!" He snapped, stabbing a finger in Dean's direction. "But when you finally realize he's dead, dont come crawling back.". And with that John exited, slamming the door behind himself.

 

Dean sat there silently until he heard his father's monster of a truck's engine come to life and tires screech away.

 

"Sam's not dead, and I'm gonna prove it."

 

After a minute, Dean brought his phone to his ear, waiting.

 

"Bobby? I need a ride."

 

~^*^~

 

Sam's eyes flickered between the burger, fries, and milkshake to the man and woman who sat across from him. He found out many things he would've never expected to ever learn.

 

Number one; angels were real, and he figured out they were dicks completely on his own.

 

Number two; his father wasn't mourning over his mother as much as he would've liked to think. The woman, who introduced herself as Kate Milligan, had told him so. She mothered a son of John Winchester and named him Adam.

 

Adam was a year or two younger then Sam.

 

"Can i meet him?" He murmured, picking at his fries absentmindedly. Kate flashed a soft smile.

 

"Well of course you can!" She said, extremely happy at how well the young Winchester was taking this. "You will be staying with us after all"

 

The words she spoke had Sam frozen in place. He didnt like staying in one place all that long.

 

"No"

 

"You have no choice, Sam, I will not allow you to be out on the streets."

 

"No" Sam repeated in monotone, his expression blank as he lowered his eyes to the table. 

 

"Sa—"

 

"You aren't my mother!" He snapped, slapping away the food in front of him. It all went crashing to the ground. There was a tense moment as Sam looked up. His eyes were slipping black. "You aren't eve—DONT TOUCH ME" he put his palms out and Kate slammed back against a wall. Power pulsed through his finger tip and his eyes slowly fell limp to his sides as ragged breaths came from him. Time was slowing again as he slowly realized what he had done.

 

"I—" his eyes were wide as Kate slid to the floor, struggling to sit up.

 

"Sam" she rasped, but he didn't hear her. Blood pumped in his ears and not much later he was up and out the door. 

 

His didn't look back once, despite them calling his name.


End file.
